{"id":3476,"date":"2018-09-05T14:56:27","date_gmt":"2018-09-05T12:56:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.safersurfing.org\/loveismore-en\/?p=3476"},"modified":"2018-12-12T17:54:16","modified_gmt":"2018-12-12T15:54:16","slug":"answer-to-sex-addiction","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.safersurfing.org\/loveismore-en\/answer-to-sex-addiction\/","title":{"rendered":"Answer to sex addiction"},"content":{"rendered":"
Finding true freedom from sex addiction does not come from working programs, reading books, attending groups, counseling or Bible knowledge. These are valid and important tools God uses as a part of the healing process, but in of themselves they don’t set the struggler with sex addiction free.<\/p>\n
Why? Because until he fills the hole in his soul with something bigger, stronger and more attractive than sexual sin, the gnawing emptiness inside of him will continue to drive him to lust. The spiritual vacuum within must be resolved for true, life changing freedom.<\/p>\n
In the 9 years I spent in the 12 step program for sex addiction, I got about 4-1\/2 years of sobriety as they defined it, which was “no sex with anyone, including self, outside of marriage.” Although I didn’t act out sexually during this time I was miserable, love starved and empty inside. Dealing with the externals wasn’t enough, and I turned back to sexual sin for three wretched years.<\/p>\n
One problem was the 12 step program’s definition of sobriety missed the mark. In Matthew 5:27 Jesus said lust in the heart is sin, thus the truest measure of freedom from lust is measured in the heart, not by external actions alone. The struggler with sex addiction is starved for love and acceptance and he needs a new heart, which only God can do. Focusing on the externals alone is the same as cutting off the top of a weed; it’ll grow back unless the roots are exposed and dealt with.<\/p>\n
The 12 step program offered a safe place for me to share my weaknesses and stay out of isolation, which is an important part of the battle. But the program couldn’t offer what I was hungry for, and a starving man will eat anything, even if it’s garbage.<\/p>\n
Maybe you’re reading this and thinking “he’s crazy, living with a pure heart is impossible, at least for me. I’m having a hard time keeping away from porn and masturbation, let alone keeping my thoughts pure.”<\/p>\n
You’re close to the truth. Living free from lust\u00a0is<\/em>\u00a0impossible for man, but not for the Living God. What you’re after is something only He can provide.<\/p>\n
Finding true freedom from the obsessions and compulsions of sex addiction involves the acceptance of a gift; the gift of the Living God’s blazing, life changing grace; His love, joy and peace. God’s love is that which fills, purifies, and gives new life. His love changes lives and cleanses hearts and it’s far more attractive than the pathetic counterfeit of lust. Once a man or woman accepts the gift of God’s grace and love\u00a0in their heart<\/em>\u00a0(we’re not talking head knowledge or theology here) the attraction to lust dissolves.<\/p>\n
Thus the goal for the struggler with sex addiction is to come to the place of receiving the gift of God’s grace. To accept this gift we must be willing to let go of two things: lust and lies.<\/p>\n
We cannot accept the gift of God’s grace while we’re holding onto lust, which means we have stay out of isolation, stay connected to others, and destroy every stumbling block of temptation such as we’ve described in\u00a0what to do<\/a>.<\/p>\n