Carl’s Story

Men, here are the facts

1. We all love to look at nude women.

2. We have all looked at nude women.

3. We all know where we can find pictures of nude women.

The question is what are you going to do about the facts. We can simply accept the facts and give into our flesh, or we can live a life of integrity and avoid the pitfalls and traps of Internet pornography. This is every man’s battle.

Fact #1

Women are beautiful because that’s the way God made them. We are naturally attracted to them. If you’re not, then there is probably another website out there that can help you with that problem. But for all those that are attracted to women, we need to put into perspective women’s beauty. Our flesh seeks to distort and destroy God’s ultimate plan for relationships between men and women. He did not create women for us to be able to click onto a poorly designed and cheesy website and look at them naked. He did not craft the woman’s body so we could pay $3.95 a month to look at naughty pictures. There is so much more to God’s plan.

You need to understand that attraction is from God’s heart, but lust is from ours.

Fact #2

Ok men…are you still going to sit there and say that you have never looked. We can’t believe how many men still discuss this issue as “other men’s problems.” It kind of goes like this….”well my friend Jeff… I know he used to have a problem with this.” Can’t we all just agree that we looked and we want to look some more?”

Fact #3

Here is the clincher. We have established the fact that we like to look. And now finally, there is the truth that we know where to find more pictures. That in a nutshell is the problem. What are we going to do about it? Put safeguards in your life right now!! Don’t have it be a secret any longer. Get real and stop messing around with your integrity and your future. Get some accountability partners and start talking openly and honestly about these issues. The facts speak for themselves. Now as men it is time for us to rise to the occasion and be the leaders that God has called us to be.

Porn is a lie. Porn tries to tell you what sex should feel like, sound like, and look like. Porn is simply fantasy designed to do one thing- keep you inclusive to yourself. Porn will destroy the relationships around you, as you pull away because of your dirty little secret. As you consume porn, it becomes your life, and you will eventually lose your choice to the addiction. Stop now.   Do it for yourself. Do it for your wife. Do it for you kids. Do it because it’s the right thing to do.

Carl’s Story

I am a young adult and attended the debate on porn with you and Ron Jeremy. The one thing I left with, feeling it even before that night, is that porn desensitizes you. What you fantasize about during a “session” and what actually goes on in the bedroom with your partner are two completely separate things.

I tried to get my girlfriend to go along with some role-play stuff, but it was very awkward for both of us. Every time we had sex though, I had to close my eyes and pretend there was another situation that was going on and that other fantasy, no matter what it was always brought me to orgasm – just being with her never worked.

Eventually it got to the point where I couldn’t even keep it up for her without putting porn on or some heavy-duty fantasizing/imagination. Porn has really messed up my sex life, and it hascost me a relationship, since we broke up 2 weeks ago.

I just wanted to say thank you for saying something I have only been thinking for the past month or 2. It has shed some light on some of my problems and it is something I am going to work on to change. I’d rather reach orgasm with whomever I am with, rather than someone I make up in my imagination.

Thanks,

Carl

NEXT STEPS
COME CLEAN:

Proverbs 28:13 “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” The first thing to do is get the monkey off your back. Get face-to-face with God, let Him know you are ready for change and tell another human being.

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. Find a friend, pastor, anonymous group, counselor, or leader at church, and open your mouth and get the secret out.

WORK IT OUT:

James 1:4 “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” You will have to work this thing out. It might mean you join a local group like Life Ministries or another anonymous group. Nationally there are a number of 12-step programs devoted to sex and pornography addictions and countless other Christian programs. It may mean you check yourself into a rehab or do an online recovery group. You may pray and fall flat in front of God, but you must persevere and not give up your work in recovery.

GET ACCOUNTABLE:

Galatians 6, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin; you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” The one thing that will put your porn problem in place will be face-to-face accountability. You must keep your behavior in check with a close friend or accountability partner. This does not mean a random stranger or an anonymous person in cyber space. We are talking about someone within your immediate circle. This person will help you get through the hard times and celebrate the good times. It must be face-to-face and often.